


Come what may

by Cutiepasta



Series: Love of life [1]
Category: Assassination Classroom
Genre: 7 year reunion, Adoption, Co-Parenting, Domestic Fluff, Families of Choice, Family Drama, Friends to Lovers, Light Angst, M/M, Mutual Pining, Romance, Romantic Comedy, Sassy Nagisa, Tooth-Rotting Fluff
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-12-21
Updated: 2017-05-14
Packaged: 2018-09-11 04:09:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 14
Words: 15,133
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8953186
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cutiepasta/pseuds/Cutiepasta
Summary: Karma is in big trouble. When his brother leaves his twin toddlers and runs away, Karma has to raise them on his own. He needs the help of an old friend to figure out what to do next. Its a good thing Nagisa is willing to help out however he can.





	1. A story

The day of the reunion was very busy. It had been 7 years since they were all together in one place and the excitement was in full bloom.

The hill where the old school house sat was cleaned up and decorated to celebrate the event. To be honest it was more like a family reunion then a memorial.

As the old students began arriving two teachers came to greet them. Irina was now a married woman who was a wonderful English teacher. Karasuma was head of the missionary of defense.

Life had worked out well for the students but two students in particular got thrown around for a little bit.

A sleek black car pulled up to the near the teachers, who were curious as to who driving. Out of the passenger side a certain blue haired man stepped out of the car. His hair had been cut short and styled into soft bangs that slightly fell over one eye. Nagisa smiled and greeted his teachers quickly before going back to the car and opened the back seat door while talking to the driver. Said driver was a man everyone knew all to well, from his gelled red hair to his cocky smirk. Karma gave Nagisa a teasing smile as he opened the truck to pull out a folded up double stroller.

The looks on everyone's faceswhere pure gold as they watched the domestic marvel before them.

Nagisa unbuckleed the car seat and picked up a sleepy lilac haired toddler who was prepared to throw a fit from being woken up only to be hushed but her papa. Nagisa handed her off to her daddy as he went back to the car to get her brother who had barley noticed he was being picked up. The two babies where loaded onto their stroller and where wheeledup the hill as Karma went ahead to greet everyone ang Nagisa stayed to talk to Irina and Karasuma.

"So, you two settled down already? I can't say I didn't see it coming." Karasuma said flatly in an almost teasing manner, even he had a sense of humor sometomes. Irina elbowed him before kneeling down to look at toddlers who stared at her with curious amber eyes.

"What are your names?" She said in that baby talk wemon use with cut things.

"Yaannn!" The little girls smiled in pride as she introduced herself, even if she said it wrong.

"Yeinnn!" The boy said fumbling a bit with his pronunciation.

"The girls name is Yang and the boy is Yin. They just turned 3." Nagisa laughed at their antics. They were the most important thing in his life and nothing came before them.

* * *

 

"Yo! Hiroto, Sugino Its been awhile!" Karma walked over to the two men who where talking by the the side of the school house.

"Karma, how have you been? Found a girlfriend yet?" Hiroto was straight to the point on that one. He and Rio had a bet on how Karma would date. He said Same random girl and Rio said Nagisa. In hindsight maybe she should have named a group instead of just one guy.

"Yes, im here with my wife." Karma's smile was beaming as Sugino choked on his drink. And Rio immediately was over there ready for this news scope.

"We couldn't find anyone to watch the kids so we decided to bring them with us." Rio handed a wad of bills to Hiroto as Sugino lamented to idea of more Karmas walking the earth. 

Nagisa appeared talking to Kaede who cooed on about the children. Nagisa stopped to check on the twins who were sleeping soundly.

"Nagisa its good to see you. I had no idea you and Kaede where together. You have a lovely family." Yukiko said as she smiled adorably. Kaede could barely hold back her laugh as she made snorting sounds.

Nagisa was about to say something but was interrupted as Karma spoke up.

"Thank you, Yukiko. Im happy to hear you say that, we worked very hard to have then. My wife here was worried that his body would never recover but he's still as perfect as ever." Karma kissed Nagisa on the cheek as the other pretended he never heard any of that. Kaede and Sugino laughed as Rio snatched her money back and mugged Hiroto. Mama Rio wins again.

"Are you calling me your wife again. We aren't even married yet and im still a guy." Nagisa pouted and push Karma away.

"Well if it bothers you too much-"

"For your sake I hope your talking about the married part." Nagisa fumed as he gave a sippy cup to the now awake Yang who reached out to her Daddy.

Kaede awwed at the cute gesture and began to think about adoption herself.

"So how did you two get together?" Sugino broke through the extremely sweet aura that was giving him a headache.

Nagisa considered his answer for a moment as he picked up Yin who called put for him. He looked at the lavender boy who was one to the two reasons he was the luckiest man in the world.

"Is a long story." Nagisa said kissing the Yin's cheek as Karma holds Yang with one arm.

"We have time. Don't forget the part where me and Okuda come in." Kaede said pulling the docter close.

"Alright it started about a year ago-

 

 

 


	2. Help me!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nagisa gets a phone call.

It started when I was getting ready to open the daycare. Managing the children was no simple task but It was rewarding to say the least. If I recall correctly I hadn't seen Karma for a few weeks, since he was going on a business trip.

Then out of the blue a got a phone call.

* * *

 

"Nagisa could you do me a favor?" A exhausted voice came over the line. The caller ID read demon lord so this must be Karma.

"Depends how big is it?" I said holding the phone between my shoulder and my cheek as I read through a few check-up reports.

"Pretty big."As Karma said this I could here a loud cry. "I have no idea what I'm doing. Apparently I now have kids."

"Im just going an a trip for work, he says. Don't worry I'll be fine, he says. Wow, Karma I'd expect this from Hiroto but you?" I couldn't help but say it.

"I don't need your sass today and besides I only told you that because you hate it when I fly out of country."

"One, tell me when need my sass I have it on tap just for you and two, I still hate airplanes. Not the flying part just the people part."

"So you'll help me?"

"With what? Oh! You mean the kids? How old are they?" I was surprised I forgot why he even called I thought we were talking about me worrying about his trip. I think im becoming my mother with all that nagging.

"2 years old. Remember when I told you I was going to check on my brother while I was in town?"

"Yeah, that jerk." I remember him he was a total @$$.

"Well he ended up running out of town leaving his twins behind."

"So you decide to just take them in , without thinking of your work hours, the paper work you had to do in adopting them, or how to raise kids?"

"You make it sound like a bad thing. And yes. Well at least I have you right?" Karma tried to sound hopeful because at this point I was probably his last hope.

I remained silent for a bit, thinking of the ways I could just kill this man but then again I could just hang up. Then again Karma is useless without me and I can't trust him with the the kids.

"%$!# It let's do it. Bring them over to the day care. Make sure to get bags filled with extra clothes, if they aren't potty trained get pull ups, any snack they prefer, and a list of allergies they may have." I listed off the basics of what they may need for one day at the daycare. "Hope you got all that because you have to pick them up by 7 this evening."

"This seems like alot."

"Its not really. I'll be doing most of the work, but I'll teach you what you need to do. Also car seats get them." I hung up shortly after getting the information needed as the first kids arrived.

* * *

 

I made space for two new cubbies that were decorated with a heart and a star. Two name tags where made for them but they probably wont know what their names look like yet.

"Alright everyone we have two new friends joining us today. So be extra nice or you might scare them away." I gathered the children together as they got ready for their morning stretches.

"Shio were are?" Deamon a red haired toddler tugged on my apron.

"They should be here any moment now." I said noticing the finger prints from the chocolate he ate earlier on my clothes. Well thats why we wear the apron. Another worker came by to tell me they were up front.

Two little angels where right there clinging to the devil's heels. They had lavender hair and amber eyes and wore the cutest matching panda hoodies.

"This is me friend Nagisa, he'll be watching you during the day from now on." Karma kept his voice low as he tried to get the twins off of him.

"Nooo!" The boy whined as he jumped to reach karma's arms.

"Karwa! Don go!" The girl began crying and pulling on karma's suit.

Karma keeled down letting Yin wrap his arms around his neck as Yang kept crying. Thinking fast I reached into my apron pocket  and pulled out a bunny puppet and made a silly voice.

"Hi there, I'm Usagi-chi. Im Nagisa's favorite helper. He told me that you were family with Karma-sama, do you know what that means." The little bunny made wild gestures to get the twins attention who shoke their heads and stared at her.

"That means your super strong. Your strong right Yin-san?" The little boy let go of karma and made a brave face to show Usagi she was right.

"Yin is really strong but are you two brave? Yang are you brave?" Yang shied away for a moment before stepping forward like her brother.

"Oh wow! They are soo brave and strong like super heroes Nagisa-kun. Do you think they could defend Nagisa and the other students for me. You see I'm made to fluff and stuff so Im not as strong as you two. Please be our hero Yin and Yang-sama!" The bunny asked sweetly.

"Yeah!" The yelled.

"Yay! Im soo happy!" Usagi kissed their chubby little cheeks and the twins giggled.

"Alright you two how about we go play with the others. But first you have to show Karma how much you love him and say bye-bye." I said.

The two kids kissed their guardian on the cheek before running to the playroom. As Usagi waved good bye.

"Suddenly I feel old and lonely." Karma watched the twin run off with smiles.

"At least you got me Karma-sama" Usagi gushed giving Karma a kiss.

"Oh its you. No I'd prefer less fuzzy company with blue hair." Karma smiled slyly.

"Oh I don't know about that. Im not very fond of sharing with anyone." Usagi pouted.

"Me neither. Nagisa it's been one day and I'm not sure if I can do this yet." He looked at me genuinely with concern, ignoring the puppet.

"You still have to get to work, pick them up, have playtime, dinner time, bathtime, and bedtime with them. Its not easy but you love them and I know you want them to rely on you. Its going to be fine. You have me, the expert on children to guide you. I you'll need help don't be afraid to just call, alright."

We said goodbye and I went back to watching the children who were excitedly chatting with the the new additions. When the two of them saw me they ran to me.

The showed me a small box that was for me. Im side was a wrist watch Karma got overseas for me. I have to accept it if the kids gave it to me even though I made Karma promise to stop buying expensive things when he traveled. A girl could really take advantage of his loose wallet, Kaede already does when we all go out. Then again sometimes if fell like he's just trying to drink her under the table to keep her quiet for the night.

He got me a silver Rolex. Its nice but I don't need it. Id rather he give me other things but I probably shouldn't say.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> More antics on the way. These babies are gonna make this house a home. Yin and yang would be the child of Karma their names are just perfect.


	3. Welcome home

It took a longer than I expected to buy everything the twins needed. Cribs, potty chairs, matching clothes, toys, rugs, high chairs, tiny silverware and plates, strollers, and care seats. I had to get a delivery truck for all that, but it was all done in a day. The embarrassment part was talking to the cashier lady.

"Are you and your wife going to have a baby?" She asked looking at the amount of stuff she had to ring up. She sounded happy to hear that im unmarried man but definitely upset to hear I wasn't looking for a new mommy.

I set up a nursery and had it decorated, I even got a playpen for my office to keep an eye on them as I work. I should praise myself more often, im great guardian.

Then came the time to pick them up. At 7 o clock Nagisa was still inside helping the children pack up. He ziped up their jackets and helped them put on their backpacks. They seemed to enjoy being around Nagisa which is a huge relief for some reason.

I snuck behind the bluenett and as he stood up I grabbed him by the waist and pulled him against my chest. He burst out laughing as he leaned against me.

"Karma, your too big to keep doing that. It was ok a few years ago but Im still tiny." Nagisa giggled as the children panicked over what just happened. They thought I was hurting Nagisa for a moment and jumped at the chance to protect him.

I look around the empty daycare as I spoke carelessly to Nagi.

"I wouldn't say tiny but your on the leaner side. Personally I prefer you like this, soft around the edges and less boney." Kissed him on the cheek while I still could but what happened next was always the worst part. Nagisa didn't hesitate to push me away.

"Karma, I don't want to talk about this again in front of the twins. But for the last time I'm not a girl. Im not going to let you do things like that. I love you but I have a limit." He went silent as my attempt get closer fails.

Since our high school days I've tried to start something with him but everytime I was close to pushing pass his defenses he pushes me away. I hadn't given up yet, he's the only one I've ever wanted and I will have him.

I said goodbye as the twins begrudgingly say their long goodbyes to their new favorite teacher. Then I loaded the into their micky and minnie mouse car seats. I had to be careful to make sure the straps weren't to tight as they babbled to one another.

* * *

 

Karma did it again. Its not like I hate it, it's just....hard. We're friends and I don't want to ruin it.

I took my keys and opened the door to my studio apartment. The open feel was nice and I had a great view with the floor to ceiling windows. The walls were decorated with craft projects the kids made for me. Unfortunately it seemed to always be too cold and dark at night here.

Even in my room the only warmth you can feel came from the pictures I had of my friends and Kanna's terrarium.

Kanna was my garden snake. The day I got her Karma said she had a mischievous glint in her eye. She was a hand full but for a cold blooded reptile she was my warmth. My warmth is what I call my escape from loneliness.

The phone rang and as I read the number I knew I had to answer.

"Hi mom." I tried to stay positive hoping this was just a normal call.

"Nagisa, my baby boy! When are you going to meet someone and get married." She sounded impatient as ever.

"Im married to my work, you know that."

"But mommy wants grandbabies!" She whined.

I held back a sigh as I prepared for what comes next.

* * *

 

"Karwa, wha chu?" Yang made a kissy face as she copied what I did earlier. Yin laughed and rolled around on his tummy.

"You do that with someone important to you."

"Impwtan?"

"Yeah someone you love alot." I said putting them in their cribs. As I turned out the light they began cry. Even when I turned it back on they wouldn't stop. After 20 minutes they were still upset and was forced to call Nagisa.

"Crying? Well sleeping or being left alone in a new area can be hard for them. They still need you around. Try letting them sleep beside you for a few nights."

I took the advice and let them sleep in my bed. It took a few minutes but they settled down. I the mist of the ight they curled against me and slept soundly. I remembered the times my mom and dad would do this for me when I couldn't sleep. They looked so sweet and innocent with their rosy cheeks and tiny noses. I pulled them into my arms and watched them reach out and cling to me.

One day they won't need me to do this for them and for some reason that made me a little happy and sad.

 


	4. Goodbye

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Karma is late picking up the kids and needs someone else to take charge.

It was almost naptime and the children had just finished lunch when Nagisa got a phone call from Karma. Almost everyday he would call during his break and Nagisa would babble on about how the twins where developing and his plans for the weekend. It was almost a ritual they had. Nagisa sent cute photos of the sleeping angels and Karma showed them off to his co-workers.It was hard to admit but Nagisa felt warmer during these times.

This call was different from normal.

" I'm sorry, I have too work late today. Theirs been a situation at the office and being the boss means I have to keep things in order. Can you take the kids home?" He asked. Nagisa could hear the sound of papers being shuffled in the background.

Nagisa felt a small twist in his chest when he heard the way he said home.

"Yours or mine?" He ignored the sting as he gestured for a helper to start naptime.

"Ours of course. You still have your key right?" Karma quietly. He knew that 'ours' was a touchy word but he saw his home as a place he shared with the only one he'd ever love.

"Karma... It's yours now." He kept his voice from shaking and he continued" and yes I still have it." He never did know why he still had it, let alone placed it next his own key. It was a bitter reminder to say the least.

The conversation was cut short as both men were swept up in work once more.

* * *

 

The last of the children were taken home as Nagisa prepared to take the twins home. They ran around the playroom helping clean up.

"Alright let's get you two home." Nagisa made a open arm gesture as he spoke.

"Where karwa?" Yang looked around excitedly for her uncle. Her wide smile faded when he was nowhere to be found. Yin searched wildly like his sister before he began to frown and pull on Nagisa's pants legs.

"You'll see him soon don't worry. I'll be taking you home." He smiled and picked them up and lead them to the car.

Sometimes in case of emergencies caretakers would drop the children off at home so they had car seats in the closet. Nagisa had set them up with quickly then placed the twins inside.

The drive wasn't too long but Sometimes would nervously look into the rear view mirror to check on the toddlers. When the car rolled into the driveway the Yin begin to move about trying to get out of his seat. He could tell he was home and was ready to run inside.

As Nagisa opened the door he felt the familiar click of the door. He pushed away memories of the times he entered this house.

"Your home now, what do you say?" Nagisa took the time to teach them about greetings.

The twins gave him confused looks as he locked the door behind him.

"You say I'm home and when you're family arrives you say welcome home and give them a big hug." Nagisa bent down to make sure they heard every word.

The twins looked at one another and came to a silent agreement before speaking.

"Nagi 'ere!" Yang shouted.

"Wel'em home Nagi!" Yin yelled hugging Nagisa.

Nagisa heart pounded as they hugged him.

* * *

 

The night progressed smoothly as it could. Nagisa ended up cooking dinner, it was chicken and shrimp stuffed pasta in alfrado sauce with a grade salad. As the kids played in the living room he washed dishes and set out Karma's plate in case he didn't eat at work.

Then he gave them baths. Yin would squirm left and right when he got his hair washed and Yang wouldn't get out when bath time was over. Nagisa lured them out with their favorite toys. They played little games as bedtime came near.

" OK bedtime. You have to catch the train of dreams before it leaves the station." He picked them up and tried to take them to their bed.

"Were Karma." Yin said glued to the caoch.

"He's not home yet but he'll be here soon. You have to sleep now. He'll be here when you wake up." Nagisa tried to convince them.

"No! He say goodbye." Yang said referring to that morning when Karma left for work.

" No, goodbye. Goodbye sad." Yin teared up as he held desperately to the cushions.

Nagisa sat down as the twin crawled towerds him and held on to him crying. They were so small and fragile in his arms as their gold eyes pleaded to him to let them stay.

Nagisa knew what they meant now. When Karma said goodbye they might have remembered the last time someone said goodbye. When their father left them.

"Don't worry. Let's wait here until he gets back, right here." 

He couldn't say he'd be here when they wake but Karma will.

The twins tried to push away sleep as they curled up to the blunette's side. Nagisa gently began to sing to them to sleep. His voice low and sweet as he held them close. The song was the same at the one his mother used to sing to him.

_Brahms Lullaby_

_Lullaby, and good night, in the skies stars are bright_

_May the moon, silvery beams, bring you with dreams_   
_Close you eyes, now and rest, may these hours be blessed_   
_Till the sky's bright with dawn, when you wake with a yawn_   
  
_Lullaby, and good night, you are mother's delight_   
_I'll protect you from harm, and you'll wake in my arms_   
  
_Sleepyhead, close your eyes, for I'm right beside you_   
_Guardian angels are near, so sleep without fear_   
_Lullaby, and good night, with roses bedight_   
_Lilies o'er head, lay thee down in thy bed_   
  
_Lullaby, and good night, you are mother's delight_   
_I'll protect you from harm, and you'll wake in my arms_   
  
_Lullaby, and sleep tight, my darling sleeping_   
_On sheets white as cream, with the head full of dreams_   
_Sleepyhead, close your eyes, I'm right beside you_   
_Lay thee down now and rest, may you slumble the best_   
  
_Go to sleep, little one, think of puppies and kittens._   
_Go to sleep, little one, think of butterflies in spring._   
_Go to sleep, little one, think of sunny bright mornings._   
_Hush, darling one, sleep through the night_   
_Sleep through the night_   
_Sleep through the night_

The twin fell into a deep sleep smiling in their good dreams.

Soon he was fast asleep as well only to be awoken but the sound of the door opening.

"Welcome home." The words came so easily, so unconsciously it surprised him.

"Yeah...I'm home." Karma walked towards the caoch and gave the caretaker a small hug." Sorry about all this."

"I don't mind. Anyways I left your dinner on the table." Nagisa said smiling.

"Thanks, your too good sometimes." 'And yet too closed of in the end' he thought.

"If that what you think so sure. Help me put them to bed."

Karma raised an eyebrow at the response then moved to pick up Yang and then the pair put the toddlers in their cribs.

"Goodnight, Karma." Nagisa moved to leave.

Karma pulled him close till their lips where just inches apart.

"You don't have to go." His voice pleading for him to stay just a bit longer.

"Yes, I do." Nagisa looked down not being able to met the others gaze. He knew if he did he'd agree to stay and then it would be that much harder to keep his distance."See you later Karma."

He could no longer say goodbye to him. Goodbyes were too sad and too difficult to deal with.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well that was a rollacoster of feels. I realize during the writing process that my most recent chapter of my other karmagisa story also had a coach as well. But unlike this story was pure smut. To be honest I write the chapters for these stories back to back to prevent fluff from getting into the smust and vice versa. I want them to be pure.


	5. Mother

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Back at it again with the cute fluff!

"She's a sweet girl honey. You should meet her, I know you'll be a good match." Mother said trying to convince me. She's wanted me to marry for years but I can't just do that. If I had it my way I'd never marry and especially not marry woman. Women are nothing but trouble but I couldn't be working the another guy. If I did I'd just hurt him more.

"Sorry mom but I'm still ga- I mean still good by myself." I couldn't keep doing this forever I know but I'm not ready.

"But I want grandkids. Adopt or something I don't care." Mom whined. She wants me to be happy but she also wants something to spoil rotten.

I denied her request again and hung up the phone. We were on good terms now but the past still refuses to stay buried.

I ran my hand through my blue locks in frustration. Even after all this time I still haven't cut my hair not because I loved it but for other reasons. I don't mind it in fact the kids at the daycare take turns brushing and braiding it.

I grabbed my key and headed out the door. For the past weeks I've been going back in forth to Karma's to babysit. Well babysit is an exclusive term. I cook, clean, and tend to the children. Basically I'm the nanny.

Karma has longer hours due to him not take business trips now and it makes being a parent difficult. So most of the work is mine until he moves positions soon.

But luckily today he has the day off. I planned to take the kids to the zoo already and now that dad of the year is coming I expected the worst.

* * *

 

He car ride was ackward to say the least. Even as an mature adult I felt clumsy. Everytime I moved I could feel his eyes on me.

The twins would babble in their baby talk and play with rattling toys. Sometimes they would ask a question about where we were going. They had on matching wolf cub oneses with a blue or pink ribbon tied to their wrists because if they get lost they could be identified quickly. Also Karma sometimes confuses which one is a girl and boy and that leads to problems when changing them.

I breathed a sigh of relief when it was time to get out. It took 15 minutes to get things together. We had to get the stroller, get the baby bags, grab our lunches, and not forget to get the twins. For some reason we almost forgot the important part. But luckily we managed to get by the front desk without issue so we could enjoy the animals.

The first animal we saw was a giraffe. It was an ugly animal if you asked me but Yin was fascinated with the long neck beast. Karma volunteered to take him to feed them as I took a seat on a nearby bench to fuss over Yang who was ready to eat a snack. She was hungry little thing after all she was growing fast.

"She's gorgeous. Do you happen to have another." An older mother came by with a stroller with a lovely brunette baby girl in it. She pointed to the two seat stroller with a smile as she sat.

" Yes over there with his father." I said. I wasn't lieing Karma preferred to be called as their father but now it sounded like I was with him.

"You are a lovely family. It's rare to see young people like yourself enjoy a fulfilling family life and should be proud of...." The lady went on and on as I watched the father and son.

Karma held Yin in his arms as the giraffe leaned down to eat the leaves in the toddlers hands. Yin let out a yelp as the giraffe snached the food from his hands. The poor baby cried as Karma coddle him.

"Aww, don't worry he didn't bite." Karma shushed the baby.

"Daddy!" Yin held onto Karma as he pointed to the giraffe.

"What did you want to do eat the leaves yourself?" The redhead teased.

Yang laughed as he watched the display. She might be one who takes after Karma, I should probably watch her.

I talked with the other mother more and soon we were trading resipes and funny stories about our kids. Then I released I was turning into a housewife. So I said goodbye and we continued to the next animal.

"Look that's a lion. The one with the big mane is the leader." I pointed out the tan lion that was loungeing on a big rock.

"Razer!" Yang began making lion sounds to catch the beast attention. The lion was not amused and ignored her.

"Baby!" Yin called out. He saw a batch of little Cubs running and jumping bothering the adults of the pride.

"Yep, they are loud, reckless, and have no respect for adults." Karma said as the Cubs pounced on the leader.

"Sounds a lot like you when you were young." I said pushing the stroller to the next exhibit.

We saw an owl sleeping with her owlets, an elephant spraying water at people, a bear helping her Cubs climb trees, and even watched Karma hold a Python.

We took a break to eat lunch and talked as the kids sat in our lap eating the colored rice I molded into animal shapes.

"That's adorable." Karma said wipeing away the leftover rice from Yang's face. Yin ate quietly as he played with the new stuffed snake Karma bought him. I expected worst but he only got a few new toy for them and a bunch of photos for us to take home.

Then we headed off to the last animal of the day. The zoo had recently added a pack of gray wolves. In fact we meet a group with a tour guide who were on their way there and joined.

"As you can see here the female wolves will care for their young individually but the alpha female cares for all the pups at once. In fact the entire pack are her children even if she isn't related to them..." The guide went on and on "also the male alpha often takes a generous female omaga as his mate after giving her lots of attention."

"Nagi cares for babies." Yang sang pointing to me as Karma held her close to the railing.

"Yeah he does." Karma said as he laughed at her antics.

"Mama wolf!" Yin yelled as he pulled on my pants as he stared at the alpha female and the pups.

"Nagi is mama!" Yang said reaching out for me.

Me a mama?! What?!

I looked over to Karma who had gone quiet as he thought of what to say. To be honest at out come like this was likely. The twins see me almost every day and they don't understand how families work yet. But I didn't hate being called mama.

"Nagisa isn't a mama." Karma said calmly. His voice was low and dulled. I couldn't understand what he was feeling but it wasn't good.

"No, I can't be a mama but I could be a papa if you like?" This wasn't a request for the twins as much as a question to Karma.

I wanted to tell him as closed off as I was it wasn't impossible. As hard as it was too admit I missed him. I didn't want to be anyone else after I met him and that hasn't changed. But it was still a uphill battle for us both to get back to where we were.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have plans to do many more wonderful family moments.


	6. Love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What is love to you?

~3 years ago~

It took awhile but finally I had moved all my stuff in. Keade was a big help in the move. She was the first person I came too when I had to make the decision and I was excited when she approved. It was a big step after all.

Karma asked me to move in with him. It seemed a bit too much at first but since I was going to a college nearby I felt like I'd be okay. Karma and I were still so close after all these years and the thought of living with your best friend sounded cool.

I pushed the dresser drawer closed after putting the last of my clothes away and went down stairs. In the living room Karma was catching up on the new season of Lucifer as I snuck from behind him. When I was close enough to grab him a hand shot out and pulled me over the edge.

"What do we have here?" His curious rang as I struggled to get into a comfortable position.

"Your killer sir, because your time is up demon!" I joked as held me down on the cushions.

"So you've struck again, but like always you can never kill me " he laughed.

"Why is that?"

"Because as long as your here my heart goes on."

"You've been watching Titanic again."

"What it's an amazing movie. Leanardo was the perfect Jack."

"Your a hopeless romantic. You need to be more realistic."

Karma baried his head in my shoulder as he thought about what I said.

"No thanks, that sounds drawn out and painful."

"Love can be that way sometimes. But for some reason people just keep falling over and over. It's pretty stupid."

"Have you ever been in love?"

"No. I don't want to be anyways. Love is for other people not for me."

"Oh, really?' his remark was dripping scepticism.

"Yep, I'll never be in love!" I sang almost proud of it.

* * *

I woke from the bitter of the past. The sweet moments we shared were like ash now. Burnt away because of me. I did that. 

It was my fault.

I was a coward afraid of love. 

Afraid that I'd end up alone. 

So why?

Why won't he just leave?

I told him not to waste his time.

Is it because...I didn't want him to leave? I said I did but...I know I'd miss him. Is that selfish? To hold on to him even though I didn't want to be him.

I wish he didn't say that word. Love. It's a poison that claims it's a medicine. It takes so much then it disappears forever leaving you to raise a son by yourself even though your mentally unstable and want a girl. Love says I'll always be here but it's not!

Love is horrible lie!

I wish...I wish...I didn't love you too.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A short chapter about the past. This is just here to get your mind in motion about what might have happened.


	7. Doctor

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I have delivery of emotional baggage. No need to sign I'll just dump it right here.

"Sorry I have to leave early. I have a doctor's appointment." I said as Karma walked through the door.

He's been getting off work earlier resently giving me plenty of alone time with him. That time is sent dodging questions and not bringing up the past. As far as starting a relationship goes we are a long way off but oddly enough this co-parenting lifestyle works. We are more or less a divorced couple still trying to make things work. Unfortunately that doesn't make me feel any better, guilty even.

"Remember you have to take them to the pediatrician tomorrow at 11 o'clock." I said before a had feverishly grabbed mine. I turned to see his conserned face knowing what he would say next.

"Is it about...You know what?" He tried not to say it, like it was a monster that would come to take me away.

"It's always about that but don't look so worried it's not going to kill me, unfortunately." I half joked.

"Nagisa." He gave me a serious glare. He never thought it was funny but I said it everytime.

"I have every right to say it you know."

* * *

"Good to see you again. We've looked over your results and the medication is working well. However your hormones still haven't balanced." Dr.Reed said flipping through his notes.

It was no surprise to me about the hormones part after all I can't produce them on my own. I never could due to a birth defect.

"Moving forward your grow has been great these past few years. We thought you'd stay the same height forever but miraculously you gained a few inches.This could work wonders for ongoing research." He seemed happy to say that understandably. 

Dr.Reed's wife became my pediatrician shortly after my birth and his family has worked on my case since. It's quite the story, a hospital in America heard about means sent her to treat me. They wanted to know if the condition was treatable. Imagine hearing that a newborn boy was born without the ability to produce testosterone the male hormone and instead had large amounts of estrogen in his system. My mom had snapped near the end of her pregnancy and wanted a girl more then anything. She thought if she took estrogen it might reverse the whole boy thing. This action almost killed me and lead to stunted growth and late development. 

My mother was ordered to not have any other kids by a court to prevent this from happening again and now in a nice facility where she can do no harm. Her scihzophrenia causes her to call me at random hours talking about nonsense and when he's calm she usually asks me about my relationship status and kids.

I'm often confused for a girl and it used to bother me but now I'm oddly OK with it. After all I just want to live my life and not worry about the details.

The rest of my visit was normal going over the do's and don'ts of what I should eat and talking about my sleep habits. But at the end he had something else to say. Something I wasn't prepared for.

"I regret to inform you about another matter. Due to your internal damage...you are unable to produce. Your an apple with seeds." He uncomfortably shifted as he spoke.

"...So your saying that I can't....Have kids?" At first I didn't get it the analogy was a bit odd but soon the realization dawned on me.

"I'm sorry Nagisa. I can't change what has already happened. I wish I didn't have to tell you."

I won't lie, I had asked him that question some time ago. I liked the idea of having a family at some point in my life but that seems to be impossible now. I didn't think that news would effect me very much but to be honest it hurt to hear it.

But it's better his way. I could never give a child the love it would need to grow up in a world like this. I can't be parent for good reason. Right there has to be a reason, right? Did I do something wrong, is it that I'll do something wrong.

"I understand that you are a young man still but it's better you know now then to find out later down the line. You shouldn't worry about that now though." His tone sounded hopefully despite the circumstances.

* * *

In the parking lot I sat in my car trying to think this through. Then a I got a phone call from who else but Karma.

"How was it?" He sounded stiff as he spoke as he prepared for bad news

"Fine." I tied to keep my voice steady.

"You don't sound fine to me." He called me out on the lie but I wasn't just going to tell him.

"Hold on someone wants to talk to you." There was a short muffled sound before a bell like voice answered.

"Papa!" It was Yin I'd keep that voice instantly. I could tell the twins apart by just their voices.

"Hey sweetheart it's me." I cooed softly.

"Me next!" Yang yelled in the background as I heard a pair of footsteps over the phone.

"No! I want Papa!" Chaos ensued as more yelling could be heard.

"Alright you two break it up." I could hear Karma's voice above them as he took the phone away.

"Sorry about that. You know they just miss you."

"Actually it made me feel a little better." I held back a small laugh.

So I can't have kids, it hurts to think that but it's true. But I have the twins in my life and that's enough. In the end they are a part of my family with Karma too.


	8. The talk

Since I got the news I've barely been home. Karma's house doesn't feel as cold and unwelcoming. I even moved Kanna back to her old terrarium there. I  felt the distance I had with Karma get smaller as the days went by and this time I was okay with that.

When the twin were asleep for the night I sat up on the guest room bed and read a book. When I finish the chapter, I set it aside and looked down. I placed a hand on my abdomen and curled up slightly.

If I was a girl it might of been possible. I could have a baby and raise a family. I could be with a guy I loved without fear. No one would care about me loving a man then. But I'm not a girl and I never will be.

I didn't hear him come in the room as I wallowed in my misery. His hand on mine pulled me away from my thoughts.

"It's going to be fine. So, you can't have a bun in oven. It's okay because your still perfect to me." He said pulling up my shirt and kissing my stomach. I managed to laugh at his silliness as pulled him to lay down with me.

"Karma that's not the point. All I've ever wanted was to have a happy family, something I never could have growing up. I didn't want perfect just happy." As I spoke I saw a light in his gold eyes.

"You do though. You have me and the twins. We are a happy family. Nagisa we could be happy together. I could make you happy." Karma tried to convince me that this was the future I wanted and it was. It just wasn't meant for me.

"Karma you'd be so much better off with some other women." I wanted him to see reason." She could do everything I can't for you. You could get married and have kids of your own."

"I don't want some woman, I want you. I don't care about not being able to marry you because I don't need some certificate to say I love you. I wouldn't love a kid purely because their mine, I'd love them because their special and one day they'd grow up to do great things. And you'd be right there loving them with me." He was so honest it hurt. It was so cheesy I couldn't help but smile. He loved me so whole heartedly.

"But I still want to know why did you leave?" Karma wanted to ask the question for some time now.

"I went to find my dad to ask him why he left mom and me. I found him living in California with another family. He had an affair and disappeared when she went crazy." I hated him for what he did but the story didn't end there."I told him about what happened to me and he seemed to care at least a little but for the wrong reasons. He said she took away my manhood and no better then a girl with a...You know what. He didn't like girly men and when I told him I was gay he freaked out. He told me that me and who ever I was with would be happier with a woman in our life.." as I finish Karma gave off an angry vibe.

"Should have told me. I could have helped you with him." He pulled me closer as he spoke.

"Theirs more to it then that. When we lived together before everything was fine. Everyday was wonderful. But then when you started working those harsh hours I didn't feel right. I used to have all your attention to myself and when I needed you, you were around. Then you started buy all those expensive trinkets. I didn't want them, I wanted you. More and more it felt like I was buying your time from work and all I got in return was some new gem. You can't buy love Karma. It's not some romantic comedy where you have to do some big and lavish stunt to prove you love me. I just wanted you to be next to me." Karma looked surprised to hear all that but then he looked ashamed." Them there was the accident. After when I found out you were still at work I was angry. I realized I was angry at myself. I'm not a healthy person. I'm worried that at some point my condition will take me. So I wanted you to find someone else. I wanted you to find someone who could live that kind of life with you without complaint and enjoy all the gifts you gave them." 

"Why didn't you tell me?" Karma was distressed to hear about all this.

"It's not your fault Karma. I was being selfish."

"No I was. I wasn't thinking about your feelings. If you wanted my attention all you had to do was ask. In fact you can have it all now!" He kissed me feverishly as I tried to get away. Eventually I gave in a kissed him back for first time in forever.

This worth the wait because at least now he understands.

Before whatever we were thinking of doing went forward their was a sound of crying in the next room.

Yin had a nightmare and woke up Yang and now they where both crying. Eventually I calmed them down and a sang them another lullaby.

_When you walk away_  
_You don't hear me say,_  
_"Please, oh baby, don't go."_  
_Simple and clean is the way that you're making me feel tonight_  
_It's hard to let it go_  
  
_You're giving me too many things_  
_Lately, you're all I need._  
_You smiled at me and said,_  
  
_"Don't get me wrong, I love you,_  
_But does that mean I have to meet your father?"_  
_When we are older you'll understand_  
_What I meant when I said,_  
_"No, I don't think life is quite that simple_

_The daily things that keep us all busy_  
_Are confusing me_  
_That's when you came to me and said,_  
  
_"Wish I could prove I love you,_  
_But does that mean I have to walk on water?"_  
_When we are older you'll understand_  
_It's enough when I say so_  
_And maybe some things are that simple_

_Hold me_  
Whatever lies beyond this morning  
Is a little later on  
Regardless of warnings the future doesn't scare me at all  
Nothing's like before  


we was getting tired too and so after the twin where out for the night we went to bed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Shout out to Yogicchi one of my favorite commenters who I just adore.  
> Karma and Nagi are getting better but aren't out of the woods yet nor is everything settled between them. But their is forgiveness.


	9. Family ties

It was a Sunday afternoon and Karma was in the middle of a conference call form work as the twins played in their playpen. Yang squealed loudly as she babbled to her stuffed animals.

"It's nice to see a young man with such a healthy family life. Most usually sell their souls to the company long before settling down." His co-worker laughed.

Karma saw Yin reach out his arms for him to pick him up so he placed his son in his lap and continued his work. Yin tried to use the keyboard but Karma pushed it out of his reach and gave him a toy car to play with.

Nagisa walks in and places a cup of tea on the desk. Karma exits out of his conference call as Nagisa leans over the desk for a kiss.

"Are you sure you're okay with staying here all the time?" Karma asked softly as they kissed. 

Nagisa pulled away and nodded "Yes, I wanna see what 'we' could be. Besides I was starting to miss home."

Karma grinned cheekily." So you came running back to me."

"If anything it's the other way around. Last time I checked you wanted me." The bluenett huffed as he tried no to blush.

"But it worked right, I always get what I want." He praised himself too highly and Nagisa began to wonder why he wanted him in the first place.

Nagisa picked up Yang who wanted out of the pen.

"Do you wanna help papa make lunch?" He cooed as he held her up.

"No!" Yang yelled as she reached for her daddy instead.

The caretaker tried not to feel bad about that since no was her favorite word so far but it stung a little.

"Papa!" Yin called out in turn and the adults swapped them out as Yang pulled on her daddy's shirt.

"You still love me right?" He held his boy close as he teased.

"Love!" Yin yelled as he said the new word. With kids you never know what words they will pick up.

"Let's go make lunch." Nagisa said taking the toddler down stairs.

Karma went back to his work as his little girl scribbled on a piece of paper as he typed. Yang couldn't decide what to draw so she pulled what ever crayon looked the best and went from there.

Thank God she wasn't her brother who ate crayons. One time they were left with a box of 38 crayons for half an hour with the TV on. When Karma came back their were only 5 left and Yin had a month full of chewed up rainbow colored chunks in his mouth. Even if they were nontoxic let's be honest if you eat 33 of something your going to feel the effects. Karma was very confused on the what and why this happened.

Mind, Yin isn't the dumb one but the sensitive one. He acts rashly when he's scared and cries alot. Yang however is a tough girl and will get her way.

Karma put her favorite toy(Mr.frumpy the elephant) on top of the fridge as punishment. And after that Mr.frumpy was just dead to to her because she just looked at Karma and laughed like she was saying 'Good one old man what's your next move time out. How about you put dolly up there to for compensation or take all my toys and just burn them on the lawn. I don't care because guess what your my toy.'

Karma could tell she was out to get him but honestly he was proud of her because she wasn't going to take no for an answer. If someone disrespected her she would destroy them mentality and physically. But he would probably have to write her name next to Nagisa's under the list of possible murders in his will. Just in case.

The phone rang and almost instantly he knew who it was. He took a deep breath and answered.

"Hello mother." His voice a bit dulled by his monotone.

"It's about time I come and visit. I'll be in town next week so see my grandchildren. I want to know if you've taken care of that old house and gotten yourself girlfriend." She still had that no nonsense tone in her voice.

"I'm currently seeing someone actually. You've met Nagisa before."

"Nagisa...Yes I remember. A cute little fling I must admit, but I assumed that it would die out sooner then later. I thought you were over your gay phase and you'd find a respectable lady."

"I assure you it is no phase. I'd never choose another over him."

"I see. Well then I expect you two to be present when I arrive. And don't think for a moment I won't be cross if your boyfriend decides not to show."

"Yes mother."

She hung up and Karma breathed a sigh of relief as her brought Yang downstairs. He stared into the kitchen as Nagisa cooked.

Quietly he snuck up behind the bluenett and placed a kiss on the others neck. Nagisa jumped and turned around and scolded Karma.

"Don't do that! I was going to stab you." He said waving the knife before going back to cutting vegetables.

"I won't...For now. By the way my mother is coming to town. She wants to see you."

Nagisa stilled for a moment before continued to cut.

"Does she now." His tone was edged with accusation.

"Well something along those lines." Karma couldn't feel the sharp edge of the others voice.

"Oh I see, now she wants to see me." Nagisa muttered as he pulled the tray from the oven.

* * *

 

The rest of the evening went as normal but Nagisa was more pent up then usual. Karma didn't understand what the problem was but he had the remedy for the situation.

Don't listen to people who say kids work hell on your love life. If your worried you'll wake them just use pillows. Thank God Karma sound proofed the room a long time ago. Nagi was always a bit loud.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not sorry at all. Also what do you think happened between Nagisa and Karma's mom? I wanna know your thoughts.


	10. Mother fearest

As the family waited on the arrival of what was going to be Nagisa's future mother in law, stress began to take its toll. People stared at them from afar, some smiled and others seemed just angry. Most did nothing but stare at their children.

The airport was crowded with people from all over but it still seemed that they all had an opinion. One woman handed them a pamphlet on the horrors of the homosexual lifestyle. Although it was in english they understand. They weren't mad because it was done in good intention and not hate, but it didn't mean it wasn't rude.

Karma couldn't care less what these people preached, because they should mind their own business. If anything he was angry that they were upsetting the twins who were scared of strangers. This is Japan and what these people don't understand is that the Japanese leave don't care about gender politics.

Nagisa however could only think back to his time in California. His dad dragged him to seminars and made him volunteer at straight camps just to try to convince him to act straight. And he did but in exchange he trained teens at the camp to hide their true natures. He did it to keep them safe for as long as possible.

Eventually a woman with long red hair dressed in a business suit appeared. She had gold and ruby earrings and necklace. And as always she's dolled up like a christmas tree. Eris Akabane was not a simple woman. She had a expensive taste that was beyond even professor bitch.

"Karma! My little honey eyes! It's been too long." Eris hugged her son tightly as she cheered." Goodness look at you with such a.... Interesing family. And grandkids an adorable little princess and a strong handsome prince. How could your no good brother leave them behind?"

"I don't know. What I do know is I wouldn't have survived fatherhood without this gem here." Karma pulled Nagisa close as to show off his prize.

"I thought you two split up years ago." She sounded disappointed to hear the news.

"Unfortunately, we did but now as you can see after some time I knew what I wanted." Nagisa knew her game and was ready to play.

"Well then then this will be ackward." She cringed a bit when a high pitch squeal could be heard from meters away.

"Honeybear!" A pink haired girl pounced on Karma. She cheered and squeezed the man till he started to turn blue.

"Honeybear?.." Nagisa didn't take well to nickname not to the woman it saying.

"Yeah Honeybear because he's sweet and gives the best hugs." She giggled getting of the man.

Nagisa isn't a possessive person but the green eyed demon got the better of him. After all no one can strangle Karma but him.

"Lovely and you are?" The bluenett chose the civil route.

"I'm Chikyuu, call me Chik. I'm an old friend of Karma's." She shook Nagi's hand before pulling him in a hug. From over her shoulder he say Karma and his mother talking before a voice whispered in his ear. "Listen here jailbait you are going to stay out of my way alright. He's mine. Don't think for a second you'll ever be enough for him."

"I'm not a fan of petty fights, but you should remember he already knows who he belongs to." Chik pushed him away after the rude response.

"We go way back after all we're childhood friends." She changed back into the sweet looking girl from before as she pretended to have a conversation with Nagi.

"That's odd Im also his childhood friend and have spent the past eight years by his side and have never heard your name." This battle of words was ended as Chikyuu started talking to the twins.

The twins were taking turns trying to talk to grandma as she snuggled them. They were excited to meet her since their parents were building up this event so much. A slender hand picked up Yang as Chik tried to play with her. Yang reached up and pulled her long pink hair roughly making the woman wince.

"No!" Yang yelled as she scrambled away into her Papa's arms.

Yin noticed the strange lady his sister ran from and clung to his grandmother as he whined loudly.

"Yin, you don't want to met Chik-chan?" Eris was worried that the twins wouldn't take to Chikyuu like she planned but she also knew from experience that children were avoid judge of character. Perhaps she'd have to keep an eye on the girl.

Nagisa decided he would try to keep the two women back at all costs as he sat close to his boyfriend. He felt shy about it before but even in a room of people who don't accept him for who he loves, he refuses to change who he is. And the he, he wanted to be was with Karma no matter what.

Karma noticed the far off look in Nagisa's eyes and quickly planted a tender kiss on his lips.

"What are you thinking about?" He said pulling away.

Nagisa considered his answer heavily. He could tell him about Chikyuu or his mother, but Eris still had him in a vice. Unfortunately, he and Eris still had an agreement.

"I think life is about to be alot more interesting now." He tried to sound hopeful but he knew there's going to be quite a rollercoaster ahead

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chikyuu: earth  
> Nagisa: sea  
> Eris: Chaos  
> Karma:you already know.  
> Yin and yang  
> And when their powers combine you get a nerd obsessed with symbolism. Also Captain Planet.   
> Now I have the theme song stuck in my head.  
> [Captain planet! He's a hero! Gonna take pollution down to zero!]


	11. Deal

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nagisa is back at it again with the sass. Also feels that you didn't ask for.

As much as Nagisa loves Karma time apart is needed at the moment. He jumps at the chance to send him and the twins off to play on a nearby playground on the way back from the airport. Of course Chikyuu followed behind like obedient too she was as I took the chance to talk with my dear old monster in-law.

"I thought you would disappear when you were told. Not a very good boy are you?" She sipped her coffee as she spoke. Nagisa bet it was black, bitter and dark like her soul.

He didn't hate her to be honest but he was angry with her.

"Sorry, I'm not like you other pawns. I have a brain." The bluenett keepers an eye on the pinkett getting a little too close to his boyfriend.

"It explains that smart mouth of yours. Always disobeying me." She laughed as she checked her phone.

"Got it from Karma, hell knows he never listens." He laughed as he remembered at of the dumb things the man would do.

This was their way of being civil. Since they met he's gotten into these heatless arguments with her. It was like a game for them.

"I believe you darling. He needs someone to keep his head on straight." She sighed for a moment and continued." I just can't think of that person as you. It seemed from the start he chose you over all others before he even gave them a chance. I want him to make the right choice."

"So I'm the wrong choice?" He felt insulted by her words but a part of him understand.

"No, you not wrong but your in the way." She was absolute him her opinion.

"In the way." He spit the words like venom." We had a deal, even if it wasn't worth it I did as told. There were no other suiters around so I wasn't stepping on any toes. So I didn't have to worry."

"Ahh yes, our deal. So how was your trip to America was it everything you dreamed it would be." She laughed.

She laughed like it was all a joke. To be gay and finally meet you father only to find out he's a homophobic jerk.

"Nagi don't be angry with me, you know I care for you. I practically raised you since your mother went to the hospital. When I see you I still remember that fluffy haired boy Karma should drag home crying with skinned knees and a dirty face. Now your all grown up and patching up and washing kids of your own." As she spoke you could see tears in her eyes.

"I know you don't want me in the way now but just one last time want to see if I'm right. If he truly chose you or if another can be his love." She stroked his cheek for a moment and gave him that look all those years ago.

She always so overprotective and would run off anyone who dared hurt her boys. One day Karma introduced a friend from school and just like that she had another son. Although this one cleaned up after himself and helped her with dinner. Unfortunately, he was also sickly and for awhile every moment with him was precious because they could be his last. She gazed at him like a whiting flower in the winter. But Karma refused to let go and she could see the enviable future to come. Even though Nagisa survived he was as good as dead in her eyes now. She didn't want Karma to love what soon would be gone and she wanted Nagisa to go freely to search for answers in his life. Nagisa would be a caged song bird to a lonely emperor.(note to self: consider making a new story with that plot line.) Karma was too possessive to let him go and if Nagisa's time here was to end... such thoughts are bitter but true. Karma wouldn't hesitate to follow him or at least never love again.

Nagisa could never hate Eris, as strict as she was she had a good heart even if the same can't be said with her morals. 

 "Eris, I understand and I'll stand by our deal one last time. I'll let any of the women you choose to court him and not get in their way but in exchange I want the truth this time. I know that wasn't my father. True, that was my mother's husband but even though I was born 9 months after he left her, I was born prematurely." Nagisa kept his voice low as he spoke.

He didn't want this to get out. What would Karma say if he told him he left because his mother made a deal him. A deal he agreed too. A deal to leave Karma so some other girl could try to take his place as he ran off to find his father.

 Karma was understanding some times but he had every right to be upset with both of us.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm on a roll lately and I do it for you! Because I love my readers who are so wonderful and smart. Expect plenty of Chikyuu in the next chapter.


	12. Rules

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Good old dad is going to lay down the law. God help Chikyuu because I won't.

The rules this time around are much looser. Eris can't make Nagisa suddenly disappear but Nagisa can decide when he has to go to next room. She wasn't forcing Nagi to do anything he wasn't okay with.

All Nagisa has to do is let the girl spend time with Karma, and not be present when they do. Simple.

To be honest Chikyuu was pushy but she wasn't too annoying. That is until she started volunteering at Nagisa's job.

"Why are you here again?" The caretaker couldn't figure out why she wanted to work here when she isn't good with kids.

"Karma likes family oriented people and I might as well start practicing." She hummed as she spoke.

"That's all well and good. Do you by chance like kids?" Nagisa joined her as she put away the last of the blankets.

Chikyuu froze for a moment before looking away "Yeah, they're very cute. I've always wanted to have one of my own." The bluenett couldn't see it but he knew she had a small smile on her face. 

"Me too, I know it sounds weird for a guy to say that though." Nagisa gave a sad smile as he spoke, a hand pressed to his chest as he clenched it. The sting was still there.

"It is, guys don't usually talk about kids or lovey-dovey stuff." The pinkett holds her cheek as she thinks aloud.

"Yeah but most guys have to follow the rules. 'A big strong man can't talk about girly crap they say.'" Nagi puts on an over the top masculine voice for good measure.

* * *

 

Chikyuu was also staying in the guest room with Sweetheart for the time being. Hope she likes snakes. Besides Sweetheart wasn't venomous, at least not very venomous. She could give you a rash though.

 Nagisa had to share Karma for now but that doesn't mean he has to share the bed. He considered being a little too loud some nights but he wouldn't risk waking the kids just to spite Chik. He wasn't always an angel but he wasn't a that terrible.

In the morning she wouldn't look him in the eye especially if his hair was a mess from nightly activities. 

But you have to admire the kind of determination that woman had because she didn't give up.

* * *

Karma watched as the twins tumbled and played as Chikyuu sat down on the playroom floor. 

"Karma do you remember when we played house when we were little." She began to reminisce as she watched Yang play with her doll.

"Yes actually, you'd push at the other girls aside and demand to be the mom and make me be the father." He thought back to how forceful she'd be.

As they spoke Yin picked up a plush doll and began to cuddle it close to him. He was a big hugger. He put his doll in a stroller and pushed it around as his sister began to roll around her monster truck toy. Yang made explosion sounds as pretended to make an action movie.

"Yin put that down." Chikyuu ordered as the stroller came near. Her voice was stern as she looked at the boy. 

Yin stilled for a moment before taking the doll out of the stroller and holding it by the arm. His head tilted he looked at her curiously.

"What's wrong?" Karma didn't understand what the problem was but has a feeling he already knew about it.

"Boys shouldn't play with doll." Chikyuu whispered into Karma's ear. She didn't know how to convey the point as she tried to figure out what to do next.

"What are you talking about?" Karma hoped to God that this wasn't what he thought it was.

"He's a boy. If he plays with girl toys, it'll effect him. He'll act and dress like one. He'll become g-" Chikyuu put a hand over her mouth, she knew she cossed the line. She could fell the cold pricks of shame washing over her.

"No, go on finish." Karma wasn't amused and in fact he was even angry. Who was she to tell him how to raise his son?

"He'll become gay." Chikyuu looked away as a hand grabbed her by the chin and forced her to look into cold gold eyes.

"And what is wrong with that?" Karma kept his voice low as he sent the twins into the next room.

"Nothing!" She tried to save herself as she tried to get out of the conversation.

"You made a big deal out of nothing then. But in case you find nothing is a good reason to scold the kids again let me explain." Karma said the word nothing like it was a joke." Why should I not allow Yin to play with what he wants? Why should he be ashamed of what he wants to play with? Is it because his gender? I don't want him to grow up with a bunch of meaningless rules other people made up for him. Do you want me to tell him that even though his sister gets to play with all the kitchen toys he can because what's between him his legs? Something that doesn't matter until he's old enough to use it. Should I tell my baby girl that she can't play with a car because a stereotype says she can't drive? Should I force her to play with baby dolls and strollers even though she is still small enough to be in one? Do I give her kitchen toys and babies to prepare he for the future expected for her? It's not cute, it never will be. My kids aren't copies of me to be made to do what I want, their children who just want to play. And if a toy could change who you love and it can't, why should it matter to me? I would only want them to find someone who would love them for who they are."

Karma sighed. He was sure he went a bit too far but he wouldn't be questioned on his parenting style.

Chikyuu watched as Karma left the room in silence. She messed up big time. Why won't he just love her instead of that man?

 

* * *

 

Nagisa was I'm the kitchen talking to Eris when Karma came in. He took the blunette by the hand and pulled him into the living room for a talk.

"I'm not sure we should keep Chikyuu around." Karma said trying to not admit he was wrong about letting her stay for a while.

"What's wrong?" Nagisa could see the look of consern on his face as he reached out to caress his lover's cheek.

"We were childhood friends Nagi and I wanted the twins to like her. She was like a sister to me at one point but I think we may be at odds when it comes to the kids." Karma held the hand that so lovingly touched him and gave it a kiss.

"I think you should give it more time. If she was a sister to you I'm sure you can forgive her. Remember dear, think of all the times you've wanted to be forgiven, all the time you wanted resolution and peace of mind and know that you could grant that for someone else." Nagisa was calm and rational about the situation at hand as he kissed Karma softly.

"You're a better person then me. How am I so lucky to have you?" He didn't hesitate tikis back.

"Well your probably the most persistent man that ever lived." Nagisa noted.

Nagisa like stated before is not an angel. Don't think for a second he kept Chikyuu around because he was being kind, no he wanted her to stick around for fun. You see Chikyuu was going to made into an example, and Eris is going to watch this ship go down.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Valentine's day my angels! Sorry I've been gone for so long but I'm back. Actually I was written this chapter several times and each time it was cut off making me lose progress but I prevailed.


	13. Pills

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You seem happy mind if I change that

~10 years ago~

More I needed more.

Pink and blue pills littered the counter tops. I hated them but I needed them to survive. I asked the doctor time and time again for something stronger.

I wasn't addicted, they were just not enough.

The anti-depressants couldn't take away the pain the hormones caused. I was stuck in an endless loop of pain and numbing toxins.

Take one to live take another to want to die.

Their going to check the bottles in the morning. If they find out I've been skipping my medication they'll give me the needle. 

Soon I'll have to take more. One for bipolar disorder of course.

I'm not bipolar, I'm not crazy!

The doctors took my phone away. All the strings and sharp objects where taken. I couldn't take it anymore in here.

They tried to help. They let me play with young ones stuck here. We made lot of drawings together and hung them up on the walls of my room. The quilts for my bed were nice even if they where too heavy.

But I want out. They won't let me go. I'm still too small, too frail to get out.

It was cold, so cold here. My fingers where like a strangers touch on my skin. So numb.

I'm called a danger to myself. They say I could regress at any time an snap on a dime. That I won't race that clock till I'm out of time. 

The only thing to keep me company in the night was a stuffed bunny. They say someone came by and drop it off. It even had a note.

_My dear Seabreeze,_

_I'm sorry I couldn't help you. I wish I could have. One day I'll make it right so don't cry. Don't cry because your tears are precious and should never be wasted._

_P.S His name is Artemis._

 The bunny was cute at least, if not unsettling. He was pure white and soft as a cloud. His eyes were little blue stones. The tips of his floppy ears were silver. He had little wings on his back. And a little blue bowtie around his neck.

I searched for a tag on the toy to see were it came from. Then I noticed the stitch of the bunny wasn't like any of the factory made ones. It was hand made by someone who took the time to make it.

I loved it, and I had never loved anything before. When I held it my heart didn't feel like it was struggling to beat anymore. I learned what warmth was. I wasn't cold any more.

It was like the toy was alive, and he whispered comforting thoughts into my head.

But now as I stare into the dress mirror, I could see him stare back. His sad blue eyes tell me to go back to sleep. I won't do it!

"Don't look at me like that!"

He keeps staring.

"I'm tired Artemis! I can't keep going like this! It hurts!" I didn't want to suffer any more.

He stared blankly but I could hear him.

"What else is there to do?" I couldn't believe he told me to just calm down.

A pause

"No, I wouldn't." I was ashamed now. "If I died who would care for you "

I crawled back into bed and held the bunny to my chest.

"I'm sorry Artemis, I didn't mean it."

The comforting warmth returned as I spoke.

"It's just that...that...I'm so...so lonely! I..I don't like being here! I wanna go home! I wanna go outside and play! I don't wanna be alone anymore!" I struggled to speak as a broken cry ripped from my throat.

I didn't want to cry anymore but the tears wouldn't stop. I cried my heart out as the chill returned. I huged Artemis with everything I had as the pain trapped me in its web.

They came in shorty after to give me an injection to get me to sleep a long dreamless sleep.

* * *

 

I stared at the bottle of my new medication. It wasn't as strong as the ones I took as kid at least.

"Something wrong?" I could hear Karma return to our room with a glass of water in hand.

"I was just thinking about something." I said taking the water." Actually I think I left it in the attic."

I went to the hallway and pulled down the ladder to the attic. It was a bit dusty by I found him.

In an old box labeled toys. When I opened it there he was looking as cute as the day I got him. But I realized how old he really was. His once pink nose had faded from years of kisses. His fur was rubbed away in some spots from all the hugs. His little bowtie was gone, lost during playtime.

This was what happens to toys when they're loved by a child. They get dirty and raggity. But that won't matter because in their child's eyes their perfect. When a toy is loved you can tell.

Artemis just needed to be fixed back up. I just need to do what that person did for me.

Karma was happy to see the old toy again. After all they once conspired against me when he played tricks. Only he could turn my angel bunny against me.

I spent the night stitching my friend back together. I made a new tie for him this time it was a blushing lilac and then I gave him a new eye this time a golden amber.

Then I thought about Usagi. Artemis is kind of like her older brother or dad even. So I gave her a new accessory, a lilac ribbon.

When I finished Artemis, Karma and I snuck into the twins room and placed the bunnies on the rocking chair.

Then for the last time I heard Artemis. He thanked me, he was happy I didn't forget him and that now he could play with two new children and have a baby bunny of his own.

I could feel a tear run down my cheek. I knew he'd be great for them.

A hand wiped away my tears as Karma kissed he softly.

"Don't cry." It was a plea more then an order. He's such a softie sometimes it kills me. I love him for it.

Back in our room I realized something. In the past if had to take a mountain of drugs but now I know I didn't need them.

Being drug free isn't about addiction as much as it's about sanity. I wasn't the same because I didn't have someone around long enough to be there. I needed stability.

I didn't need Artemis anymore because I had someone else to keep me warm at night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A sweet and tragic filler. I cried for my little seabreeze this chapter. He is blessed. Also more symbolic names.  
> Usagi- rabbit or rabbit on the moon  
> Artemis- moon goddess  
> Japanese and Chinese culture speak of the rabbit on the moon a server of the moon goddess who travels back and forth to earth.  
> I'm dropping some hints in here for you pick it up people.


	14. Needy

~3 years ago~

I don't really understand dating to be honest. People talk on and on about how wonderful it is to be in love, but I just can't see it that way. I love him but, I can't help feeling empty.

It was perfect in the beginning, we where fresh out of high school and I was looking into colleges offering classes on child rearing and education. Karma was preparing to take over his father's work in the government as well as the business. He took ownership of his childhood home and asked me to move in. The knew it was a big step but I was young and dumb, I wanted to know what our domestic life could be like.

In the past we were on and off again lovers because our family lives could be rocky. Karma would fight with his brother almost every night while I had to run off to check on my mother almost everyday. We'd get so irritated and fed up with everything we'd take a break just to avoid dumping of emotional baggage on each other. Sometimes karma would just sneak out at night too spend the night with me. I was so happy to not be alone in that house even for just a little while.

When I moved in we had a talk about what we wanted in the future, yea know because we were adults now and we had to sort out of lives.

"I'm just happy we can be together now. No one can get in our way." He said softly kissing me on the neck, making me bite my lip trying to not laugh.

"I know, but that's now what about...you know...in the future." I tried to get him to take a hint at least a little but he gave me that cute cluless gaze. I reached out to brush a few stray hairs out of his eyes and smile softly at him. Yep, this is the guy.

"Well if you must know, I intend to take over the world with my good looks and charm. And also take over the family business." He laughed at his joke but even I could see his tied expression.

The fighting didn't stop after Karma took the house you see. He and his brother argued day and night over what roles they were going to take. Karma's dad had a business and a government job and with the business moving up he needed his sons to split the work. Baransu wanted to abandon his role so he could run off with his girlfriend to the states. The arguments would often includ be even if I wasn't involved.

_"Baransu! Think for a second about this, you short sighted son of a-"_

_"You wanna lecture me? I want to marry a girl I love, and at least I'm still going along with mother's wishes instead of rebelling like a brat! You must think your so cool parading around your little toy just to upset us!"_

_"Did you just- I love him! I'm not the one using my partner as an excuse to run off all because I can't take a little responsibility!"_

_"Did I touch a nerve? I don't care what you have to say. It's either work or family Karma, don't be like dad trying to have it all. I'm not ending up like our parents, divorced all because they couldn't find the time to separate themselves from work."_

Back then Baransu and I hated the living hell out of each other. When I came over he'd call me out on being gay or compare me to a girl, so Karma would just start fighting with him again. Then he'd blame me for breaking the bond the brothers had. I was glad that he pick up and left to be honest, didn't think it would come back to bite.

But as much as I hated him he was right. Karma couldn't have it all.

He had to take long hours everyday trying to get work under control on the business end, making him drained by the time he got home in the late hours. Even if he was tried he'd still take the time to give me a kiss just to remind me he's here. That was enough for me to be satisfied. I spent the night making sure he got proper rest because I knew he'd be up early again.

The he had so many business trips to take for those international meetings. I hated planes, but those wouldn't have stopped me from going with him but I had college classes that wouldn't allow it. Karma tried to comfort me as best he could before he left but time was always too short. I'd find myself trying to bury myself in work or anything I could do to distract from the boring cold of the house. I was like a housewife bored and alone waiting for my husband to come home. Oka and keade would say that I was just being moody but I was always lonely by my nature. Still the trips lasted for weeks and I'd barely get any calls. Then he'd come back with an apology and a gift. They were nice gifts but it didn't fix much. I felt selfish to demand anything of him, he was trying his hardest to make things work and he promised that everything would settle down soon. I believed him.

Karma was always fighting to prove his love to me, anything my heart desired was mine, even if I so much as looked at it for more then a second. It was cute at first but as kind at the gesture was, gestures get old fast. Still I went along with it.

Part of me still wanted to tell him what I wanted in the future but I knew it was too soon to bring it up. True it was supposed to be something long off in our lives but the timing wasn't right.

I wanted to tell him that...I wanted a family. I wanted to have kids one day, to hear the sound of them running through the hallway, to see them sitting at the table for breakfast, to have them tell me about their day. I wanted to bandage their scrapped knees, have them sleep with me when the had nightmares, and sing them songs to comfort them. Hell I even wanted to hear their cries when they had a fight with their sibling. I wanted to do the things my mom couldn't do, she was kept away from me for so long she forgot the moment she first held me. She would sometimes tell me all the things she wanted to do with me when I was still a child.

It's a strange and embarrassing thing to want but it's true. Some people think that is a strange wish but it's mine.

Karma wasn't ready to hear something like that so I didn't tell him.

One morning I was planning our anniversary dinner and everything seemed fine. Karma was getting back from his trip early and my plans seemed to be working out well, all I needed was to pick up the cake from the bakery.

On the drive over I was greeted with a tired feeling, I had been up for a while so it was understandable. To be honest I've hadn't been feeling well resently. I've had the worst headaches, and I've had to start taking those anti-depressants again.

I talked to the cashier and waited for my order when I started to lose my balance. I heard a few people ask me if I was okay as I tried to reassure them but I was losing my sight fast. As I fell to the floor I heard someone call for an abundance.

I woke up in a hospital bed alone. I pulled out my phone and noticed a few missed calls from Karma. I called him back, to hear something no one should hear.

"Sorry honey, I thought they'd let me leave but these dignitaries somehow think that spending time with their significant others is wrong!" He said that last part louder as he yelled yelled at what was likely the dignitaries in question. "They won't allow me to leave until the treaty is sealed. I'm so sorry love. Let's celebrate once this blows over."

I hung up. I was so angry with him but I was also sad, guilty even. I was feeling guilty because I was mad at him. I didn't want to blame him for feeling alone and neglected but he had a hand it. It was our anniversary.

Doctor Reed gave me an update on my condition, I had a high rise of getting cancer. This wasn't news to me Estrogen dominance in men was becoming a common subject in research. Some of it due to my birst and survival. So yes, all I needed was a reminder of my condition. I didn't have cancer thank God but I needed to watch myself now.

Eris chose the right time to come to me as well, with my anger and fear of death coming apon me she made a good deal. Is mush as I hate to admit it I wanted to meet my father now more then ever. My time was running out and she said it wouldn't be forever. All I needed to do was leave for a little while. I'd just do it for Karma's sake. Maybe he'll find someone else, someone who could deal with being alone all the time.

It's just...no trinket could make up for what he's done.

* * *

 

They have to be fucking kidding me! Just because they are a bunch of lonely old windbags they expect me to simply forget I have a boyfriend to get back to. They have no idea what they just ruined.

I at down in my hotel room and sighed. Slowly I took out the blue velvet box I had stored in my jacket pocket. In side was a silver band with blue sapphires I had costume made just for this night. I wanted this gift to mean something more then all the rest. A reminder that I loved Nagisa and that all the work I did wouldn't mean that I loved him less. I just how I'll get another chance to give it to him soon.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Do I feel bad for what I just wrote? Nope! Also Estrogen dominance in men is a real medical problem and yes cancer is a real risk for suffers. Nagisa's symptoms are signs of hormonal inbalaces if you are having similar issues please consult a doctor, unless your a teenager, then your fine. Also if your a teenager, I'm so sorry, it's probably the craziest you'll ever be.


End file.
